Monday Scramble: Name game
Monday, April 27, 2009
When asked by e-mail Sunday night if he were at all responsible for bringing back fad that even Phil Mickelson has joined in (See inset picture, taken at 2009 Masters, Rd. 1), Fowler responded: “Haha well it was the euros first but I had to have been one of the first in am and junior golf.”
Just to set the record straight.
• • •
YOU NAME IT: Jerry Kelly’s victory at the Zurich Classic Sunday in N’awlins, his first on the PGA Tour since 2002, only made us wonder one thing:
Who is the best golfer with two first names?
• It’s not Jerry Kelly, though his third PGA Tour victory probably gets him into the top 20 or so.
• Nor John Kelly, runner-up at the 2006 U.S. Amateur and 2007 Masters participant.
• Nor Danny Lee, the ‘08 U.S. Amateur champ, who shot a second-round 81 at the Masters and missed the cut in his professional debut at Zurich.
• Jack Nicklaus would be an easy answer, if only his last name were “Nicholas.” Spend even 30 seconds on BabyNames.com and you’ll find out “Nicklaus” is just as popular a first name nowadays as “Slurpee.”
• Same for “Nelson,” specifically Byron and Larry.
• Same for “Hogan” and “Jones,” though Google tells us that there is someone named “Hogan Jones” from Nebraska on Facebook, FYI.
• It’s not anyone from England, a country seemingly quite fond of the double-forenamed approach, though a few of these lads are quite good at striking a golf ball: Luke Donald, Greg Owen, Paul Casey, Brian Davis, Oliver Wilson.
• You can scratch these other Mr. Wilsons, too: Mark Wilson, Dean Wilson (the best golfer with two first names from Hawaii.)
• It’s not David Toms, even if he were David Tom.
• Bad news for Adam Scott: It’s not him. Good news for Adam Scott: He is the best golfer with two very common first names.
• Unfortunately, Ben Curtis lost both his NFL sponsorship and this contest.
• It’s not Woody Austin, at least in the world above water.
• Old Tom Morris and Young Tom Morris both would be good candidates, but “Old” and “Young” aren’t legitimate forenames. Sir Bob Charles, another Hall of Famer, finds himself in the same situation.
• Not that we need to remind Kenny Perry, but he may have had a shot at it if he’d – How should we put this? – pulled a “Tommy Aaron in 1973.”
• Giving it the ol’ college try: Kyle Stanley (Clemson), Phil Francis (UCLA), Nick Taylor (Washington), Ben Martin (Clemson), brothers George Bryan IV and Wesley Bryan (South Carolina) and Joe David (Ole Miss).
• And don’t forget Casey Martin, now the head men’s golf coach at Oregon.
• Your bracket might feature in the Final Four the Normans (Greg “The Shark” and the eccentric Canadian, Moe), Ray Floyd (four majors) and Payne Stewart (three) – yet we’ve decided to go in another direction.
• Karrie Webb is one of four female Hall of Fame members featuring surnames that could be male first names (Beth Daniel, Pat Bradley, Betty Jameson).
• PGA Tour rookie Webb Simpson is one of eight other guys that didn’t make our cut (Vaughn Taylor, Tim Clark, Steve Allan, Chris Riley, Brendon Todd, Jimmy Walker, Charles Warren).
• Which brings us to Ty Webb, Bushwood Country Club member, and our cop-out pick as the best golfer with two first names.
[To the “Caddyshack” highlight!]
Ty Webb: You’ve got to win this hole.
Danny Noonan: I kinda thought winning wasn’t important.
Ty Webb: Me winning isn’t. You do.
Danny Noonan: Great grammar.
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Real caption: Colin Montgomerie banishes a photographer from inside the ropes during Round 2 of the Volvo China Open at the Beijing CBD International in Beijing, China. (Photo by Guang Niu/Getty Images)
Our caption: “Shine my shoes then get me a pie!”
“Blimey Pale Ale! Can you give me 30 seconds of privacy behind this tree.”
– Tim P.
“You missed a spot!”
– Marlo M
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