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Monday Scramble: Monster mash

Monday Scramble:

Welcome to the Monday Scramble. We’ll be with you right after it stops raining cats and dogs and Tigers in Miami.

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THIS WEEK’S SPECIAL: In last week’s Monday Scramble, following Tiger Woods’ miraculous buzzer-beater to win the Arnold Palmer Invitational, we wondered if anyone out there could figure out a new, cool and contemporary way to say “Tiger Woods is good!” Say something that no one else has said.

Actually, we were only trying to make a joke.

But that didn’t keep the Scramble faithful from knocking.

Below then is a sampling of our favorite Tigerisms, all of which should make us finally realize how much power the aura of El Tigre actually packs.

Of course, this whole Undefeated Season we’ve been talking about for the last 2,000-or-so hours will probably be toast by lunchtime today, making this more of a tribute to The Streak That Wasn’t than anything else.

“I think whether he wins or not, his play is pretty impressive,” Phil Mickelson said Sunday night at Doral.

Now it’s your turn…

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“So let’s try a metaphor. Tiger is Damascus steel, and his competition is still in the Bronze Age.

Or how about a scientific formula: Unparalleled talent + concentration + imagination + practiced skill + physical fitness = paragon of golf?

(Kind of weak, considering I was an English major.)

– Kurt N.

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“1. Tignormous

2. Tignacious

3. Tigantic

4. Tiglegion

5. Tiger’s Titans….vs. Arnie’s Army”

– Lance in Maryland

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“…I am involved in the rodeo industry and such. A few years ago, we had a roper on the circuit that was that way. If this guy pulled into the rodeo grounds, you had a choice, you were roping for second or just go ahead and load you’re horse up and go pay “him” you’re entry fee money, for that is where it was going anyway.”

– Ken C.

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“TIGERRIFIC!”

– Ellen C.

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“It is hard to put into words, he is ‘T – I – G –E – R –R – I – F – F – I – C’ ”

– Damon L.

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“They may as well change the (World Golf Hall of Fame) to the Woodsonian Institution.”

– Kelly

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“Tiger Woods: He’s so good that the eternal ideal of ‘good’ just shakes its head, gives up, and takes a nap.”

– Mark R.

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“There should be an addendum to the PGA Tour ads:

‘These Guys Are Good, But This Dude Is SSSICK.’ ”

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“… Modern vocabulary doesn’t really have the bandwidth to adequately describe Tiger’s talent and accomplishments.

That said, here’s my old-school way of describing what some are beginning to label indescribable:

Tiger has reached a state of arête.

Honestly, you could make the word “arête” his catch phrase or logo.

From Wikipedia: Arete in its basic sense means ‘goodness,’ ‘excellence’ or ‘virtue’ of any kind. In its earliest appearance in Greek, this notion of excellence was bound up with the notion of the fulfillment of purpose or function…”

– Mike D.

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“A second place against Tiger should qualify for the Masters.”

– Tom L.

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Tiger is the only person that can beat him…. Tiger that is!

– Dan P.

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“Hats Off To The King!”

– Rick L.

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EXPECT GOOD TIPS FROM: Greg Kraft won the inaugural Puerto Rico Open for his first official PGA Tour victory, closing with a 2-under 70 for a one-stroke victory over Bo Van Pelt and Jerry Kelly… Alastair Forsyth, who overcame a five-stroke deficit in regulation, then beat South Africa's Hennie Otto with birdie on the first hole of a playoff in the Madeira Islands Open. Otto’s seen this movie before. Forsyth beat him in a nine-hole playoff at the 1996 Scottish Stroke Play title.

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PHOTO SLIDESHOW: Ogilvy snaps The Streak

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OTHER QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

“I’m sure it’ll happen eventually.”
– Tiger Woods, when asked if he expects to lose a golf tournament this year.

“Yeah, I’m pissed. You three-putt, you’re not going to be real happy.”
– Tiger Woods, on his three-putt on the 18th hole of the first round at the WGC-CA Championship.

“Do I practice hitting lay-up shots? No. I don’t like to lay up. I like to try to go for it. I know (Zach Johnson) won laying up and he played awesome, but that’s not the way I play Augusta the best. I’ve got to go after it. So my adjusting to the length is trying to get a driver that hits bombs.”
– Phil Mickelson, when asked if Zach Johnson’s approach to Augusta National last year had impacted his preparation for the Masters.

“Just look at it.”
– Camilo Villegas when asked why Doral’s 18th hole is so difficult.

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TOUR BLOG-ARYTHYMS

DORAL, Fla. – Whoever says professional golfers aren’t athletes has never watched Aussie Adam Scott prep for a day at the office. At 7:45 a.m. Scott was in the gym at Doral Resort going through a 30-minute warm-up routine that included 10 minutes on a stationary bike and intense stretching.

At 9:04 a.m. Scott was headed for the practice range, more than an hour before his scheduled bout with Tiger Woods and Geoff Ogilvy at the WGC-CA Championship.

Take that PBA. (Rex Hoggard, March 22)

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RIO GRANDE, Puerto Rico – Just watched Pablo Martin warm up for his 1:02 p.m. tee time here at the Puerto Rico Open. Solid action, crazy long, mid-length putter. Let’s see, another sweet-swinging Spaniard with a questionable putter. We liked this show better the first time it aired . . . when Sergio Garcia was the leading man. (Rex Hoggard, March 21)

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RIO GRANDE, Puerto Rico – Ubiquitous signs can be found throughout the resort that is hosting this week’s Puerto Rico Open: “Beware Paradise.”

One of our favorite Tour players, and people for that matter, seems to have fallen victim to paradise. Jim McGovern was all smiles despite a tough second round that included five bogeys.

“Really haven’t done much,” grinned McGovern, “sat around the pool, went to the ocean, played a little golf. Life is good.”

Some players need renowned sports psychologist Bob Rotella to find inner peace. All McGovern needs is an ocean breeze and cold cerveza. (Rex Hoggard, March 21)

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FROM THE INTERVIEW ROOM

Q. You made reference a couple questions ago to Steve being the only one who understands what’s going on. Can you talk a little bit about the evolution of your relationship with him on the golf course and how much easier or harder –
TIGER WOODS: Yeah, I think last week was our 10-year anniversary. We started at Bay Hill in ‘99. It’s been an incredible ride for both of us. We’ve learned so much from each other and have grown as a team. You know, people make such a big deal of that conversation we had on 16 on Sunday, but that’s what we do. We do it on the very 1st hole to the 72nd hole. I trust him. As we all know, as a player, and from the standpoint of the caddies, ultimately it’s my call. I love the fact that he’s not afraid to give me the info. He’s always trying. He’ll call me off of shots if the wind changes. Not too many guys out here ever would have the guts to do that.

I wouldn’t have won the PGA in 2000 if it wasn’t for him. He called me off a shot on 12 because the wind had switched. I changed distance I was going to hit my shot, hit it up there, made birdie and kept myself in the ballgame after Bob just hit it up there to two, three feet.

Q. Did you get him diamond earrings or anything?
TIGER WOODS: He would look interesting with diamond earrings.

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