Welcome to the Monday Scramble, on the heels of of probably one of the more interesting weeks in golf this year…
Speaking of heels, did you happen to hear last week how model/LPGA player/marketing guru Anna Rawson suggested LPGA players be introduced at tour events?
“Every player should tee off to her favorite song at the beginning of the tournament…” Rawson said in an ESPN.com article, in which she offered five outside-the-box suggestions for improving the LPGA.
“…And have it played again when she approaches the 18th green.”
As the Black Eyed Peas might say, “Boom boom pow, boom boom pow.”
But, really, who are we to fault someone with only 646,187 less Twitter followers than Stewart Cink? The LPGA’s motto does include the word “rock.”
(Speaking of Cink, what would his song be? We’re thinking either “Mama Said Knock You Out” by LL Cool J, mostly because of what he did to Tom Watson, or R. Kelly’s “I Believe I Can Fly” since he’s already Tweeting his head off.)
So in between some raucous refreshing of Women’s British Open live scoring on our laptop yesterday morning (Sooo much better than actually watching it live on television! Thanks ABC!), we took a few minutes to scribble down some other pretty realistic suggestions we think would help Rawson bring more attention and excitement to the LPGA:
• Eliminate the walking-only rule and let players drive around in those music-pumping Cadillac Escalade golf carts, so they can throw money and spray champagne into the crowd in between shots. (This is kind of similar to what Paul Azinger did at the last Ryder Cup.)
• Shoot fireworks out of holes following every birdie.
• Hire on-course pubic address announcers – in the style of the guy from the “And 1 Mix Tape StreetBall Tour”: “JI-YAI SHIN FOR BIRDIE-LICIOUS… TAKE THAT IRON OUT’DA FIRE PEOPLE … OH BA-BBBBBBBY! … DROP IT LIKE IT’S HOT … OH BABBB-BBBBY!”
• Exchange “Quiet Please” signs for “Riot (Respectfully) Please” ones.
• Like that event in the Winter Olympics that combines cross-country skiing and rifle shooting, cross the now-sponsorless LPGA Championship with the reality show “So You Think You Can Dance?” (Don’t worry about that double-bogey on 17, Anna – America picks the champion!)
• Make at least one major championship a glow-ball tournament.
• Have an LPGA mascot running around the grounds all day, jumping off trampolines and into lakes, etc. If you’ve ever seen the Orlando Magic mascot (Stuff the Magic Dragon), that’s kind of the look we’re thinking.
• Change the “G” in “LPGA” to “glitzy.”
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IN OTHER NEWS:
• Tiger Woods won the Buick Open…
… Or was that the Idaho Open?
… Rumor has it if Woods donates his winnings ($900,000 and a new Buick) back to tournaments organizers, they will be able to stage at least a 7-hole event next year.
… Wasn’t it great to see him throwing golf balls into the animated galleries (which were awesome)? Good thing he wasn’t in that kind of mood at the British Open! Flying 6-irons are dangerous!
… He also was the star of this morning’s most viral YouTube clip, which was taken from CBS’s coverage and shows Tiger and Stevie Williams laughing at some rather noisy flatulence, if you will. Who’s Buick backfired? Some say Tiger, some say David Feherty. Unfortunately, CBS and the PGA Tour have already called copyright claims on the video and had it taken down.
• Catriona Matthew won the British Open just 10 weeks after having her second child. It was certainly a refreshing story, considering all those stories we’re used to hearing about parents pushing their children to win majors by their 10-week birthday.
• Michelle Wie was named a captain’s pick for the U.S. Solheim Cup team. No word yet if her parents have named themselves assistant captains.
• John Daly said last week he lost 81 pounds since February, then went out and shot an 88 in the second round of the Buick Open. So much for Shooting Your Diet.
• Doesn’t this also mean he can’t play on the LPGA for the rest of the season under Rule 88? We’ll ask Wie and get back to you.
• Daly also has another reality show on the horizon with the Golf Channel. Hopefully it won’t be as unbelievable, ludicrous or flippant as TGC’s decision to interview Nationwide Tour players in the middle of their rounds.
• Fred Funk won the U.S. Senior Open at 20 under, the same number at which Tiger Woods won the Buick Open. Wait, did they play the senior tees?
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