Monday Scramble: How to celebrate a win
Monday, May 18, 2009
Some Irish items of note from the week that was – so listen up lads:
• Irish amateur Shane Lowry improbably (See Irish Independent headline: “Lowry claims shock success”) won the European Tour’s Irish Open in a playoff, then celebrated like Arthur Guinness had just handed over the keys to the factory. (Though as one BBC announcer said Sunday, he’ll never have to pay for another pint of Guinness in Ireland.)
Once Lowry landed, all of the spectators surrounding the green swiftly crowded the 22-year-old lad – a wicked scene, as far as we here at the Scramble are concerned.
Purists and Green Jackets might not enjoy the sight of spectators rushing the green as if Larry Bird had just drained a 35-footer with no time remaining, but we loved it more than Guinness stew.
We’re so sick of guys winning and cap-tipping – we want cow tipping, or at least something as wowing.
We want a golf bag – and/or caddie – tossed into a pond. We want someone to use the flagstick to pole vault into the scoring trailer. The next time Zach Johnson wins the Valero Texas Open in a playoff, we want him carried off the green and over to nearby Six Flags to ride the Fiesta Texas’ Rattler roller coaster you always see in the background shots at LaCantera GC.
• Unoriginal thought that hit us more than a few times this weekend while watching the Irish Open: How much better would the 2006 Ryder Cup have been on an Irish links like Baltray?
• Note to American college kids: You’re not allowed to turn professional now until you have either 1.) graduated; or 2.) won a European Tour event, as three amateurs have now done since 2007.
• But was Lowry’s conquest even the story of the week?
Earlier in the week, Rory McIlroy, the biggest thing since sliced Irish soda bread, made un-Monty-like remarks about the Ryder Cup, then found himself in the same group for the opening two rounds of the Irish Open as the 2010 European Ryder Cup captain.
McIlroy (aka The Next Tiger, according to several media members across the pond) called the Ryder Cup an “exhibition at the end of the day” and said “it’s not a huge goal of mine” – in true Tiger fashion.
(Remember, it was in Ireland at the 2002 American Express World Championship that Woods answered the question “What would be more important for you, to win this week or the Ryder Cup next week?” with “Here this week...I can think of a million reasons why.” The purse that week was $1 million.)
Monty responded with class, saying the Ryder Cup is “not an exhibition” and that McIlroy would eventually understand, asking the media not to blow things out of proportion and start a Monty vs. McIlroy war.
Here’s what we think:
If Anthony Kim said anything close to this, European Union officials would put him on the “No Entry” list.
Don’t rule out the fact this could be the first of many premeditated Monty maneuvers, directed to give American Ryder Cuppers and media the impression of internal European strife.
If you’re 20 years old (and one of the best golfers in the world) and can’t get excited about the Ryder Cup, that sucks.
Though we have a 6-year-old intern here at the Scramble that doesn’t care much about going to Disney World, so we kind of get it.
• Note to Rory: We still think you’re class (i.e., how you stuck around to give your former Irish teammate Lowry some words of encouragement after he almost threw it away in regulation) – just, from now on, don’t make fun of something any weekend hacker would give up three limbs to play in.
• One last Irish thing: A big Scramble thank you to Padraig Harrington for legitimizing our juvenile attempts at Happy Gilmore swings on the range – and sometimes on the back nine, after we’ve given up hope.
• • •
CREATE-A-CAPTION: This week...
Real caption: Colin Montgomerie of Scotland during the final round of The 3 Irish Open at County Louth Golf Club. (Photo by Ross Kinnaird/Getty Images)
Our caption: In stores this Tuesday: “Monty-tation 101” DVD.