Monday Scramble: Time for fun and games

Tiger Woods and Vijay Singh during the final round of the 2007 Presidents Cup.

Tiger Woods and Vijay Singh during the final round of the 2007 Presidents Cup.

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Chris Evert caddies for Greg Norman during the par 3 contest prior to the Masters in April.

Welcome to the Monday Scramble, as of this weekend the biggest consumers of Kleenex on the East Coast.

Greg Norman-Chris Evert and Justin Timberlake-Jessica Biel splitting up the same week?

Come on.

Next you’ll tell us Timberlake is getting a $10 million bonus to call Biel his FedEx.

• • •

A couple thoughts from the week that was...

• Rio de Janeiro beat out Chicago and a couple other big cities to win hosting duties of the 2016 Olympics. Later this week the International Olympic Committee will consider adding golf as an Olympic sport beginning with those games.

With Rio being one of the biggest soccer (er, football) cities in the world, we can only imagine what might happen...

Folf!

• All these beer-can crunching-and-dousing victory celebrations on the LPGA tour (like Lorena Ochoa’s on Sunday) need to stop immediately. When broken open, tin cans are dangerous and will slice and dice anything in their way. We love seeing celebrations on the green – not fingers.

• • •

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President Barack Obama steps into a golf cart while playing golf on the second hole of the Farm Neck Golf Club, in Oak Bluffs, Mass.

Top 5 possible (or impossible) storylines that would make this week at the Presidents Cup a little more interesting:

• 5. Just days after right shoulder surgery, Greg Norman inserts himself into the lineup for all five sessions and wins all five points playing one-handed in a sling.

• 4. Tiger Woods draws Y.E. Yang in the singles session and convinces him to wager his new PGA Championship trophy against one of Tiger’s.

• 3. Adam Scott wins clinching point for International side by making a 35-footer for birdie on 18 with a surfboard.

• 2. After matches end in a tie, teams head to Golden Gate Bridge for a Closest to that Red Boat on the Left Near that Yellow Buoy competition to decide a winner.

• 1. Barack Obama accidentally sneezes in the middle of Ernie Els’ backswing.

(By the way, whatever happened to Freddie Couples saying he was going to name Michael Jordan and Robin Williams as assistant captains? Is that still happening?)

• • •

If after this weekend you’re trying to answer the following question – Which Next Best Thing (NBT) will win a major championship first: Rickie Fowler or Alexis Thompson? – you may want to consider the following facts before giving Regis your final answer:

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Rickie Fowler during the second round of the Nationwide Tour’s Albertsons Boise Open.

• As of Sunday evening, a search for “Rickie Fowler” did not return any results on eBay. A search for “Alexis Thompson” returned six related results, including four autographed items and what is said to be a ball used by Thompson at the Junior Solheim Cup – “This ball was OB and I retrieved walking home outside the fence of the Aurora Country Club,” says the seller.

• The face value of “Alexis Thompson” in a game of Scrabble is 26 points. “Rickie Fowler” goes for 24.

• You can spell the word “Open” using the letters in “Alexis Thompson.” The only relevant word we could pull out of “Rickie Fowler” was “fore.”

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Alexis Thompson, 14, hits her drive on the 12th tee during Round 2 of the Navistar LPGA Classic.

(And just when you thought Thompson had this one in the bag...)

• Thompson is a patronymic surname meaning “son of Thomas”; Fowler is an occupational surname, derived from the Old English “fugelere,” for a birdcatcher or hunter of wild birds – a guy who gets a lot of birdies.

• • •

• (Sarcasm-filled) Interview of the week: Actor Hugh Grant, following the first-round of the Dunhill Links Championship.

Asked if he brings his golf clubs along to every city in which he’s filming: “I have a set in every city. I’m very rich.”

When asked what he likes best about Scotland: “I like the little kilts.”

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