Hate to be Rude: A FedEx Cup full of thoughts
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
• The golf universe is back on a proper axis this week. No, not the Fall Series. Tiger Woods-Phil Mickelson.
• Woods, of course, lost to Mickelson on Sunday at the Tour Championship. Something tells me he’d rather eat glass.
• Something also tells me Dave Stockton’s fee just went up.
• Speaking of Stockton, you ever see him play golf? He could slap the ball around, hitting carps and flares, and shoot 66. That can happen when you never play hockey around the hole.
• I was in a golf store Tuesday when a guy walked in and immediately bought Phil Mickelson’s excellent short-game instructional DVD. I’m not exactly sure, but I think he walked right past the Adam Scott DVD.
• Speaking of the Fall Series, it starts Thursday. This is not to be confused with the Fall Classic. That belongs to baseball, and it matters. Golf’s Fall Series is for guys who didn’t make the All-Star team.
• My fingers are confused. They don’t know what to do with themselves. There’s no FedEx Cup points-projection computer button to hit anymore. I can’t ever recall being in finger withdrawal before.
• I’m no fashion expert, but let me get this off my logoed chest. When it comes to white belts, the Rule of 35 should apply for every golfer except maybe Tommy Armour III. It goes like this: Never, ever wear one if your age or waistline is over 35.
• The late Dwight Eisenhower, another president known for his desire to chop down a tree, is going into the World Golf Hall of Fame on Nov. 2. But lest you think George Washington is being left out, he did have a golf course named after him in northeast England. Suspicion here is it isn’t tree-lined.
• Just when you think you’ve seen it all, ball-striker extraordinaire Kenny Perry missed nine consecutive greens in regulation Sunday after taking a two-stroke lead into the Tour Championship final round. As with Capistrano and Bermuda, strange things can happen when paired on Sundays with the guy in the red shirt.
See Brandt Snedeker, BMW Championship. There’s not enough space here to mention the hundreds of others.
• Here’s one “if” that the FedEx Cup scenario experts missed: If Harry Vardon hadn’t played in a thick tweed jacket and tie, he would have won several more FedEx Cups. Same probably goes for Old Tom Morris.
• Speaking of ifs, if Sean O’Hair gives Sergio Garcia a putting lesson, would Woods get some credit? If Geoff Ogilvy feeds Charles Howell III daily with three of those Mojo pies advertised on his bag, would Howell gain any weight? Would Howell surpass 30 in waist size or season earnings?
• I watch new pro Rickie Fowler swing with that fast, hard action and I see a young Lanny Wadkins. Don’t take my word for it, though. Wadkins says the same thing.
• Yeah, the FedEx Cup playoffs aren’t perfect, but they do bring together the game’s premier players four times after the PGA Championship. What do naysayers want, the old post-PGA Tour dead zone?
• Jerry Rice not only will host the Stonebrae Classic on the Nationwide Tour, he’ll play on a sponsor exemption. And they said Brett Favre couldn’t walk away from competition? I’m thinking even if Rice’s tee ball goes over the middle, his scores will go down and out compared with others in the field.
• Woods and Padraig Harrington have played in the same group nine times in 2009. Woods outscored him eight of those times. In the vernacular of seamheads, that means Harrington is batting .111 against Babe Ruth, well below the Mendoza line.
• One last if, out of recent habit: If the Chicago Cubs hadn’t gone the past 101 years without winning a World Series, their fans wouldn’t have spent nearly as much on therapy. Liquid or otherwise.
• OK, I lied. If Woods had played with a double-striped range ball, others would have had a 42 percent better chance of winning the FedEx Cup.