Monday Scramble: Phil’s fast foods

Welcome to the Monday Scramble.

Let’s get something straight here: Tiger’s WD wasn’t the most shocking news of the week in golf.

Not. Even. Close.

We present, as Exhibit A, a portion of Phil Mickelson’s post-round press conference from Saturday afternoon at The Players:

Reporter: “What will you do this afternoon?”

Phil: “What I’ve done the last five days, go to Five Guys Burgers. That place is so good. I can’t stop going there. This will be my sixth day in a row. I grew up on In-N-Out. I thought that was the best burger until I had Five Guys. That is hands down the best burger I’ve ever had.”

Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!?!?!?! Talk about doing a Double-Double take.

Fast-food fanatic Phil and In-N-Out – the legendary fast-food burger joint in the western United States that Mickelson once said he wanted to put in his backyard – on the outs? And because of another burger chain, predominantly on the East Coast? That’s like switching from Red Sox to Yankees. From “Star Wars” to “Star Trek.” From the Beatles to the Backstreet Boys.

Somewhere, Arnold Palmer just ordered an iced tea. Tiger just put on Reeboks. John Daly just asked for wheat toast.

(*UPDATE: Stewart Cink sent the following tweet to AP golf writer Doug Ferguson today: “keep in mind PM owns SoCal rights to FiveGuys. Biased argument?” Hmmm.)

Obviously, getting over this one is going to take some time – so excuse us as we drift into an early-morning slumber and dream about “Fast Food” Phil – the same guy who drove through the Krispy Kreme drive-thru in his green jacket the Monday after his third Masters victory, the same guy who once made a bid with two other businessmen to buy 105 Waffle Houses – as spokesman for the various fast-food joints for which he has been connected over the years . . .

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photo

With Mickelson evidently becoming the resident PGA Tour expert on burgers – he’s not the only one who debates the merits of Five Guys vs. In-n-Out – there is one word of advice we can offer. Merlins Pub is right off the lobby at Celtic Manor Resort, site of this year's Ryder Cup, and the menu there includes a British Burger. Phil: Be forewarned. It's an achievement just to get this 5-inch-high monster into your hands, and one napkin isn't going to do. It's plied with bacon, cheese, what looks to be a quarter of a head of lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers (must be a British thing). If you want to be ambitious and try this, do so only before play gets under way. You tackle this thing at lunch, between sessions, and what you want to do afterward is take a nap, not go out for another 18.

But by all accounts, this isn't just another burger. It goes for £15, which, at the current exchange rates, translates to about $23.

• • •

And from the Scramble Archives: Ways to make the 17th at TPC Sawgrass tougher...

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