Hate to be Rude: Entering the Twitter world

Ben Crane and Ian Poulter are glad Jeff Rude has joined Twitter.

Ben Crane and Ian Poulter are glad Jeff Rude has joined Twitter.

Some people land on the Twitter planet later than others. Your correspondent arrived there Friday as @GolfweekRude, complete with incomplete thoughts, given the 140-character limit.

Until then, I thought tweets were limited to canaries and the like.

I was wrong. The following five-day sample is evidence, as well as shameless marketing.

Hope all the tweeting doesn’t bother your ears.

• First tweet. Told to follow Ben Crane. Wouldn’t that take too long?

@IanJamesPoulter It’s your man Rude. Have some more Cheerios out of Cup and let world know I’m on Twitter.

• Ian Poulter just announced a “massive sale’’ on his clothing. Just wondering why the peacock didn’t discount his costumes before Halloween.

• The Tour’s kickoff event has gone from Mercedes to Hyundai. Seems like everyone this side of Obama is cutting back.

• Earl Woods said his son would be bigger than Buddha, Mandela, Gandhi. But I see it’s @stewartcink who has 1.2M followers.

• (Note: After reader wrote that I was not following @ protocol) Been tweeting for 10 minutes and already called into the principal’s office. Reminds me of my school days.

• Several spoiled sissy friends moaning about cold Orlando weather today. Apparently they’ve never wintered in Moose Jaw or Medicine Hat.

• Saw Seinfeld in concert Friday. He made fun of golf and Twitter. Here I am tweeting about golf. But, hey, Kramer probably thinks it’s cool.

•Yes, I too have watched the @bencranegolf workout video. Very funny. Also very surprising. It doesn’t take him 4 hours to do one pushup.

• Seems I recall when your stomach used to hunger for birdies at noon. RT @ANNIKA59 Noon, stomach is calling for lunch.

• (Note: @ANNIKA59’s husband, JMikeMcGee, tweeted in with: She still does....she makes some great chicken dishes! :-)

• Yes, if she's willing to leave her unused birdies to me in her will. RT @Golfweek_Baldry Anything you want to know about Lorena’s new life?

So you see, I used to write. Now I chirp.

Here are a couple of bonus entries, just for you, 140-character max be damned:

• If I were a betting man – and, as a matter of fact, I am – I’d wager heavily that Davis Love III will be the next U.S. Ryder Cup captain. And that returning Presidents Cup captain Fred Couples will be his lead assistant. As they say in Internet dating, you can’t have love without couples.

• Joe Durant this week can become the first player since Cal Peete in 1983 to end a Tour season ranked No. 1 in driving accuracy and greens in regulation. But Durant ranks 120th in earnings. Thing is, most tournaments have putting.

Gotta go. My mouth is tired. Used to be my fingers got fatigued.

• • • 

Jeff Rude’s “I Hate To Be Rude” column appears on Golfweek.com on Wednesday, the same day as his video show of the same name.

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