Achenbach: Passing out Round 1 Masters awards
Time to hand out a few awards based on first-round statistics at the Masters.
The short hair/long drive award: Rory McIlroy, tied for the tournament lead with a 65, got a haircut and averaged 297 yards off the tee.
The long and crooked award: Co-leader Alvaro Quiros led all players with a 309.5-yard driving average but hit only half the fairways (7 of 14).
The Phil Mickelson “All Over The Place” trophy: Nobody hit fewer fairways than Phil Mickelson (4 of 14). Thus he handily won his namesake award.
The “I want to be like Phil” award: Tiger Woods, suffering from fairway deficit disorder, found just six fairways.
The fast start award: Retief Goosen eagled the first hole, holing a 161-shot with an 8-iron.
The fall on your face award: Goosen shot 31-39, with bogeys on the final three holes.
The best putter award: Ricky Barnes and Anders Hansen had 25 putts each.
The worst putter award: Shared by reigning major champions Graeme McDowell (U.S. Open) and Louis Oosthuizen (British Open), with 36 putts each. Another reigning major champion, World No. 1 Martin Kaymer (PGA), and three-time major winner Padraig Harrington had 35 putts apiece.
The three-putt award: McDowell had four three-putts, while Harrington, Francesco Molinari, Hunter Mahan, Vijay Singh, Goosen and Jhonattan Vegas each had three.
The putting-for-birdie-but-flying-under-the-radar award: Heath Slocum, who hit 16 greens to lead the field but totaled 35 putts and shot 72.
The “I hit less than half the greens” award: Shared by Jim Jeong, Lion Kim and Craig Stadler (eight each) ... Lucas Glover Ben Crenshaw, Ian Woosnam and Arjun Atwal (seven) ... and Mike Weir (six).
The “I don’t like this course” award: Martin Kaymer, who has missed the cut in three previous Masters appearances and is on the way to No. 4 with an opening 78.
The “I’m not playing in the sand any more” award: Davis Love III, Tom Watson and Ian Poulter had no sand saves in three attempts each.
The Sergio Garcia bounce back award: Sergio Garcia, who appeared to emerge from a slump by shooting 69 and impressively hitting 10 fairways and 14 greens. He stumbled with 30 putts, but, what the heck? He’s Sergio “Stone Hands” Garcia.