Nicole's diary: The big debut of Big Break Ireland

Selected for the upcoming Big Break Ireland, Nicole Noelle Smith, a Golfweek blogger, will compete with five other female golfers for two exemptions on the LPGA and Ladies European Tours. Smith is pictured on the far right of the bottom row.

Selected for the upcoming Big Break Ireland, Nicole Noelle Smith, a Golfweek blogger, will compete with five other female golfers for two exemptions on the LPGA and Ladies European Tours. Smith is pictured on the far right of the bottom row.

Nicole Noelle Smith has been blogging exclusively for golfweek.com in 2011 and recently landed a spot on Big Break Ireland. For the rest of the year, Nicole will bring you exclusive commentary on the show.

•••

On Wednesday, five of my fellow cast mates and I were lucky enough to go to the world premiere of Big Break Ireland in New York City.

We arrived in the Big Apple on Monday, got settled into the city and ordered-in Chinese for the night. Our plan was to visit SoHo, do a little shopping and get ready for our big day on Wednesday. As we sat and chatted in the small two-bedroom NYC apartment (Annie Brophy’s older sister Ellie’s place), the discussion quickly turned to Wednesday’s premiere.

“What is it going to be like?”

“It is going to be so weird seeing and hearing ourselves on TV!”

“How are we going to be portrayed and come across to the audience?”

It was like word vomit between all of us.

On Tuesday, we wandered around NYC taking in the sights and keeping ourselves occupied until the big day.

On Wednesday morning, we woke up to a message, “Sending this to all of you… there are a LOT of things said by all during the series that we use. This is reality TV, so just want you to be prepared.”

Everyone was still half-asleep, but this made me wake up in a hurry.

“Ohh no!?! What does this mean?! Did you all get this message?!”

Everyone acknowledged they got it as well and stress levels rose immediately as we started to gossip about what this would mean to all of us, and secretly wondered what this would mean for me.

What are we going to look like to the rest of the world? We know what truly happened there those two weeks, but they can’t show all of it, there isn’t enough airtime, and now we are all the closest friends. A slight panic settled in.

“Are we going to be friends after this airs? Am I about to lose someone I am close to now? Did I say something or did they? Did they mean it? Smack talk my golf all you want, but are they going to say something about me as a person?”

After breakfast, we packed up and went to catch a cab to head to the Warwick Hotel.

After we arrived and got our things in our rooms, we occupied ourselves until it was time to get ready. We occasionally chatted about the message again. Trying to recall if we said or did something … keeping our minds busy and trying not to over stress. Not gonna lie, I was a mess inside and Mallory Blackwelder seemed to be as well.

The others had their moments too.

Walking into The Perfect Pint was a blur. I wanted to get there so bad and sit down and watch the show. It was surreal walking in, getting to see some familiar faces and new ones who were there to watch us on the show. It was mind-blowing, and I still do not think it has sunk in completely.

We went up to the viewing room, and there in the center was our Big Break poster. Looking at ourselves on that poster was a jaw-dropping. I was grinning from ear-to-ear with excitement. I just could not believe this was really about to happen, after three months of waiting, the show was about to hit big-time television for the world to see.

I was too anxious to eat so we all decided to take a delicious Baby Guinness shot, “Cheers, I love you all no matter what. We are the only ones who know what truly happened. We didn’t know each other then like we do now.”

We walked in and took our seats, all sitting together. Nerves were running high waiting for the show to start, and I truly felt like I was going to be sick. But, as soon as the show started, all the nerves left me and I just watched, screeching with laughter, taking in the snide comments and just sat in amazement. Yes, there was still a rollercoaster of nerves, but it was an amazing experience.

After the show finished we all were so happy together. We all know that things were going be said. The pressure while you are there is more than anyone could ever imagine. Emotions are running high, you’re tired, you’re hopped up on adrenaline, and fighting for the win. We all understand that, and at the end of the day the same people who may have talked a little crap about you were the ones that comforted you.

We are our own Big Break Family.

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