Rude: Questions you didn't hear in Tiger's fan presser

Tiger Woods of the United States reacts after an approach shot on the fifth hole during the final round of the 2012 Masters Tournament at Augusta National.

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Jeff Rude’s “I Hate To Be Rude” column appears on usually on Wednesday.

• • •

Instead of having a typical pre-tournament news conference at the Wells Fargo Championship, Tiger Woods answered fans’ questions in a 14-minute video posted on his website Monday. The inquiries Woods picked to answer weren’t so much of the softball variety.

More like volleyball.

Woods often takes the path of least resistance in news conferences. This was more like no resistance.

A sampling:

What’s in your water bottle? Any news on future products? How many practice rounds do you play? Eager to compete again? Have a good chance of winning? Ever make a double eagle? Most memorable tournament and favorite shot at The Players? Still change between 2-iron and 5-wood? What are you working on?

But in case all that bores you, don’t despair. I got hold of the part of the Q&A tape that wasn’t posted on I found this cutting-room-floor version much more entertaining, even though the answers were short.

Here’s the transcript:

• • •

• Q: Just wondering, what did you think of Hank Haney’s book? – A. Miceli, Richmond, Va.

TW: Alex, I know that’s you. As I’ve told you before, that’s none of your (%&^@) business.

• • •

• Q: Considering you won 51 percent of your PGA Tour starts from July 2006 to the day you hit that hydrant in 2009, what was so bad about that “wipey” swing anyway? – H. Haney, Dallas

TW: I’m afraid whatever I say here will end up in a book somewhere.

• • •

• Q: Can you please watch the kids June 14-17? – E. Nordegren, North Palm Beach, Fla.

TW: Maybe on Saturday and Sunday.

• • •

• Q: Is it possible I can pick the movies the next time we room together? – Z. Johnson, Sea Island, Ga.

TW: What would they be rated?

• • •

• Q: Are you still mad at me? – S. Williams, Auckland, New Zealand.

TW: Yes.

• • •

• Q: Is it too early to ask if you’d like to play a 2013 Masters practice round with me? – P. Mickelson, Rancho Santa Fe, Calif.

TW: Yes.

• • •

• Q: Should I keep saying “no” to every media and appearance request or should I mix in a “yes” now and then? – M. Steinberg, Cleveland

TW: Yes and no.

• • •

• Q: Can I hitch a ride on your plane back from Memorial, or do you still think I’m a mooch from last time? – I. Poulter, Orlando, Fla.

TW: No and yes.

• • •

• Q: Are you still thinking about becoming a Navy SEAL? And if not, what about the Boy Scouts? – R. Sabbatini, Fort Worth, Texas

TW: (No audible response.)

• • •

• Q: What’s your favorite color, besides Sunday red, I mean? – N. Begay, Albuquerque, N.M.

TW: Green. Dude, you know about my appearance fees.

• • •

• Q: What do you think of Nike’s really cool new shoe line? – P. Knight, Beaverton, Ore.

TW: Have millions of reasons to never leave home without a pair.

• • •

• Q: After you finished playing just after lunchtime on Masters Sunday, did you happen to watch the rest of the tournament? – B. Watson, Windermere, Fla.

TW: Highlight of a double eagle was about all I saw.

• • •

• Q: Do you think your left leg will keep you from winning more majors? – J. Nicklaus, North Palm Beach, Fla.

TW: No. I’m still jacked up about getting that record.

• • •

• Q: How often do you get an urge to watch tape of your swing from 2000? – B. Harmon, Las Vegas

TW: Not even when I room with Z. Johnson.

• • •

• Q: How long do you think you’ll stick with your current swing? – S. Foley, Windermere, Fla.

TW: Depends.

• • •

You can see the full video here.

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