Achie's Awards: From a magic caddie to the losing spirit
Scores began to soar Friday afternoon at the Masters. So did the potential awards to be earned by those in the tournament.
• The "Mistakes, thou are a villain" award goes to the meticulous Ian Poulter, who numbered his mistakes in the second round.
"My three mistakes, my three bogeys, were three 3‑putts," Poulter said, "and that leaves me with a bit of a sour taste in my mouth.
"I played exceptionally well. I hit some phenomenal golf shots today. Proximity to the pin on second shots for me was pretty special, but I didn't manage to capitalize on all of them."
• The wizard's award for mathematics is perfect for Rhodes scholar (sorry, make that Roads scholar) Fred Couples.
"Well, I'm averaging 76 the last two Saturdays, which is not very good," said the 54-year-old Couples. "So my approach will be to average anything lower than that to bring my average down."
Good old Fred was just kidding, friends.
PHOTOS: Masters 2nd round, Friday at Augusta
See the action and emotion of Friday's second round of the Masters at Augusta National, the first major of the 2014 season.
• The major prediction award goes to Kevin Stadler.
"The leader (Bubba Watson) is pretty darn good around here. This place was built for him. I don't see him backing up."
Way to go out on a limb, Kevin.
• The "Short hitters lament" award is earmarked for former world No. 1 Luke Donald.
"Obviously (Watson) hitting wedge and sand wedge into a lot of holes … and I'm hitting 6-iron … it's a big advantage (for Watson). And he spins his irons a tremendous amount. So when he's controlling his ball as well as he is now, it's going to be tough to catch him if he keeps playing like that."
• The "Lefties are cool" award also has Donald's name on it.
"Being a left-hander … moving left-to-right around some of these holes … is a lot easier," Donald explained. "It shows because Phil (Mickelson) has had a lot of success here, too."
• The "What wind?" award goes to Ernie Els.
"On 15, we were almost in the same spot, me and Phil (Mickelson), on the fairway. I hit 5-wood, and he went with 5-iron. It (the wind) switched that quickly -- 180 degrees."
• The European word for "crooked shot" was demonstrated by Darren Clarke of Northern Ireland.
"His wides aren't as wide (as they used to be)," Clarke said while talking about his tee shots.
Next time you push one into the woods, just say, "Oh, no, I hit another wide."
• The "I can't putt" award is claimed by Jason Day.
"I've had two 4-putts and a 3-putt out there," Day said. "That definitely hurts the scorecard."
The two greens that he 4-putted were No. 3 and No. 10. Ouch.
• The great unknown caddie award belongs to Augusta National caddie Brian Tam.
Tam is caddying for Oliver Goss, who made the cut one day before his 20th birthday. In last year's Masters, Tam caddied for 14-year-old Guan Tianlang.
• The upside-down philosopher award is the property of Lucas Glover.
"I think if I do what I'm supposed to do, and work like I'm supposed to work, and play like i'm supposed to play, I'll be here," Glover said.
Oh, is that all?
• The "Missed cut magic" award is perfect for Australian Matt Jones.
"I'm going to come out and watch the next couple of days, anyway," Jones said, "and enjoy it and have a couple of beers with friends and family and enjoy being here."
Now that's the spirit.